Marriage is beautiful, but it’s also hard work. You’ve probably heard that before. Yet, there’s something alarming about modern marriages—80% of divorces are filed by wives. What’s going on, and what can we do to prevent it?

In this post, we’ll explore why this happens and offer practical steps to keep relationships strong. Whether you’re engaged, married, or just thinking about the future, let’s take a deeper look into the heart of marriage.

Attention: 80% of Divorces Filed by Wives—A Sign Something’s Wrong?

According to studies, around 80% of divorces are initiated by women. You might ask yourself, “Why is this happening?” Isn’t marriage supposed to be a lifelong commitment?

The truth is, that many couples are walking into marriage without fully understanding what it takes to sustain a healthy, long-lasting relationship. From my own experience and seeing others, most of us are inexperienced and untrained when it comes to marriage. We know how to plan the wedding but not how to nurture the partnership after the honeymoon phase. The spark fades, and we struggle to keep the connection alive.

But here’s the thing: It doesn’t have to be this way.

Interest: Why Are Wives the Ones Filing for Divorce?

Several studies and real-life examples point to a few reasons why women are often the ones asking for a divorce:

  1. Emotional Disconnect: Over time, couples can drift apart emotionally. When we stop rediscovering our partners, the relationship loses depth. Women, in many cases, feel this emotional gap more profoundly.
  2. Lack of Communication: Many couples don’t discuss their needs, fears, or frustrations openly. Over time, problems build up, and by the time we notice, it might feel too late.
  3. Unmet Expectations: Both partners enter marriage with expectations. But when those expectations aren’t met, resentment builds. For some wives, this becomes unbearable.
  4. Unequal Burden: Studies also suggest that many women carry more of the emotional and mental load in marriages. They manage the household, children, and often their careers while feeling unsupported.

In the tweet below, one woman points out, “Women are filing for divorce not because they don’t care, but because they feel like the only ones who do.”’

Desire: Can We Prevent Divorce? Yes, But It Takes Effort.

No one walks down the aisle thinking they’ll end up in divorce court. But it’s important to be proactive in your marriage instead of reactive. Here are some ways you can strengthen your relationship:

1. Rediscover Each Other Regularly

The person you married years ago is not the same person today. We change as we grow, and so does your partner. Make time to rediscover who they are now. Go on “8 Dates”—a framework created by Dr. John Gottman that involves having meaningful conversations on different aspects of your relationship. Discuss topics like trust, commitment, and intimacy.

2. Communicate Openly and Honestly

One of the main reasons for divorce is poor communication. Instead of waiting until frustrations boil over, address small issues as they arise. Regular, open discussions about your feelings, needs, and concerns will keep your relationship healthy. Dr. Esther Perel, a relationship therapist, says, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” Make communication a priority in your marriage.

3. Share the Mental Load

Often, women feel overwhelmed by managing a household, their career, and emotional responsibilities. Have honest conversations about splitting these tasks. Teamwork in managing the everyday can make a world of difference in your relationship.

4. Learn the 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work

John Gottman’s “7 Principles for Making Marriage Work” is a powerful guide to keeping marriages alive. These principles focus on building friendship, understanding each other’s world, and managing conflict in healthy ways. Couples who actively work on these principles report higher levels of satisfaction in their marriage.

Action: What Can You Do Today?

To build a stronger relationship, be proactive. Here are some actionable steps you can take right now to prevent becoming part of that 80%:

  • Start small: Ask your partner how they’re feeling about the relationship. What’s going well? What needs improvement?
  • Plan weekly check-ins: Use this time to address any small issues before they become big problems.
  • Go on intentional dates: Whether it’s one of the 8 Dates or just a casual dinner, make time for each other outside of daily routines.
  • Seek help early: If you feel like you’re drifting apart, don’t hesitate to seek marriage counseling or read books like Esther Perel’s “Mating in Captivity.” There’s no shame in getting professional guidance.

Final Thoughts: Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late

The fact that 80% of divorces are filed by wives should be a wake-up call for all of us. It’s not that women don’t care about their marriages—it’s that they often feel like the relationship is no longer fulfilling or balanced.

But it doesn’t have to end this way.

By being proactive, communicating openly, and making an effort to rediscover your partner, you can build a relationship that lasts through the years. Marriage takes work, but with the right tools and mindset, you can ensure it’s a journey worth taking.